| “Tangled” by Sep *** Honor and love to Travis. *** Part 5 When she went downstairs, Jane thanked Kathleen for allowing her to stay and wait for John. She only hoped she didn't appear as flustered as she felt, and though she wasn't upset, she decline the offer to stay and talk. She felt the overwhelming need for air, and had to get out into the night, maybe to walk until she fell exhausted into sleep. That sounded like a perfect plan, and with a little laugh, she again thanked her hostess and was gone. Some time later, John came down the stairs, silent in his usual way. Kathleen had finally gotten some time to delve into the novel she'd put off again and again because of work, so she paid him little attention as he made his way into the kitchen. When she heard him actively doing something in there, she looked up and had to stop herself from checking it out. Since he'd been living with her, there had been several comical, if somewhat disastrous kitchen surprises for her nephew. All in all though, he was learning, and she smiled when he came out with a bowl of mixed fruit she'd cut up for him. He liked to eat it in big chunky blocks and had never shown any interest in the canned varieties she'd showed him in the pantry. He smiled at her when he came in, and crawled up into the chair, settling in a crouch as he held the bowl. "Can I turn it on?" He asked. When he saw the slight raise of her eyebrows, he sat down proper into the chair and with a soft, charming smile, apologized. "Sorry." "That's all right John, and sure, turn on the TV. I'm reading but it won't bother me. Did you and Jane have a good talk?" He didn't answer her, but instead moved to the floor, half crouched again and turned on the set. He'd found some fascination in the box that could provide such a multitude of pictures, and most often he would sit up close like a child might, and if he wasn't particularly engrossed in one program, he would use the buttons on the set over the remote control, pushing them incessantly until he found something suitable. He'd found programs of course on the cable channels that led viewers through jungle territory, and on more than one occasion, she'd walked in to find him with his hand right on the screen, in a caress to his memories, and each of those times nearly brought her to tears with the thought of how it must have been for him, and how he must feel now. Her eyes went back to the pages of the book, and quickly she was caught up in the written world between the pages. She was aware of John's presence only by the occasional too-loud commercial, or the sound of him sucking a piece of fruit. That made her smile and shake her head as she read. Uncivilized but so wonderful, she thought. After some time he grew quiet, and settled in to watch some program or another while she sunk lower into the cushions and devoured the book. It was as if nothing in the outside world existed, and she cherished quiet nights like this that almost made up for any chaos his arrival had created. It was only when she heard something noticeable that she looked up. He was studying the picture on the television with a totally different posture and interest. She was surprised by the sounds of a couple, portrayed in obvious and intense passion, as naked as TV could allow. The book fell slowly to her lap as she watched him, watching them as their hands moved over one another, as the woman moaned softly and the man told her soft words about how beautiful she was, and how good she felt. From what she could tell as she looked at him from the side, John's expression wasn't anything near shocked, or excited, it seemed soft and interested, and she decided not to say a word. With a little smirk to herself she thumbed to where she'd left off in her book. "That is how I want to be with Jane." He said softly. His eyes never left the extended love scene, and when Kathleen looked at him again, she wasn't sure he'd said it to her, or just aloud in confirmation to himself. She waited to hear more, if he elected. He sat still until the couple was climactically finished and then sank back onto the rug, as if he were stunned by the vision and replaying it in his head. When he looked to her, she felt a slight embarrassment. "Jane wants me to touch her. She says we have to wait. Why do you think she says wait?" She sat up on the couch, tucking the full robe under and around herself. He amazed her with his utter lack of modesty. He thought nothing of asking her something so intimate and personal, because to him, it was simply a truth. Discretion was not necessary in the world he came from, and when he opened his mouth and spilled such sweet, if perhaps private thoughts, she couldn't help but smile. What to say to him, she wondered. There was so much he didn't know, so much he would have to learn that she couldn't prepare him for. The modern world was a hard place, and harder still for him. Jane was the first woman he'd come in contact with, and it was painfully obvious to her how she made him feel inside. Yet she knew, despite any instinctive human emotions, it had to be difficult for John. This question now made her wonder if the two of them had gone beyond just struggling with their feelings. She called him to sit beside her. "John, honey," Tenderly she touched his leg as she looked into his captivating eyes. "There is so much about men and women that you don't know. Have you and Jane…" She didn't know how to ask him. "Have you and she been together like what you just saw on the TV?" "No." He answered with a goofy smile. "But she doesn't have her rules now. She told me she wants me to touch her, but why does she say wait? What is waiting for?" "Waiting is for a lot of things John." She smiled at him and got up to turn off the TV set. When she came back she took his hand gently and talked to him in a slow and careful way. He might have become confused if she spoke too casually, and that would have only led to problems for any intimacies that came his way, whether with Jane or any other woman. She wasn't blind to her nephew's obvious charms, particularly his looks, that would have women interested in no time as he made his way more out into the world. That she was in this moment and felt a responsibility tonight and to come, to talk to him as his mother might have done was enough to make her eyes mist over with lost love for her sister. "Jane is a wonderful woman, John. I can tell she has feelings for you, and I know she knows it too. What you need to know is that some women, well, they need more time. Jane's struggling, fighting herself and you know why. It's not just got to do with Michael's death, it's got everything to do with you John. I think she doesn't want to put you in any danger, and she doesn't want her own heart to get broken – again." "I would never break her. I want to have her here with me." "Yes, I know you do. I know you care about her and it's all so new to you." Now she really was in danger of crying as she saw his face soften and become almost sad. "It will happen for the both of you when you're ready. She isn't a woman who just rushes into bed with a man, John. I can tell that. She has to be sure. You have to take it slow, and let her know you care. Let her feel protected and loved." "I do love her." He said those four words almost in a whisper, and turned away. "I know you do." She said as she put her hand on his shoulder. "She just has to let herself know that you do. I’m sorry it's so confusing for you sweetie." He turned to look back at her. "The way those people were, on the TV. That is how it is when people are together? It is real or that was just a show?" His voice was serious and she shouldn't have let out the little laugh it brought. It was just amusing in some way. His naiveté was charming, but she understood how he, having come from a world of what you see is what you get, into the modern day world of "reality shows" even being scripted and fake, was puzzling. She got up and headed to the kitchen. He followed with his fruit bowl in hand. "Johnny, you have a lot to learn about sex." She said, and for a moment he looked at her in confusion and then when she laughed, he joined in, and what a wonderful sound it made. |