| “Tangled” by Sep *** Honor and love to Travis. *** Part 6 "Sex?" He repeated, as he put his bowl into the sink and followed her around. He obviously wanted her to elaborate on those words. "You mean like that. Mating." "Well John, don't call it mating. I mean, that's what it is, I guess, but it's not like…" She laughed and walked into the living room again. He was right on her heels and nearly ran into her when she stopped to sit back down. "John, I'm sure you saw a lot of… mating… and that tonight on the television, it was not real, they were actors, you know, pretending to make love. You know pretending, right? What that means?" "Make believe." He nodded. "Yes, make believe. But that is usually how men and women do it, like they were showing there. It's just not cut and dried." He looked puzzled. "I can't explain it all to you. There are so many different feelings, different reasons to make love, John." "You call it make love, not mating?" He laughed and smoothed his hair back as once again he perched himself on the chair. "Yes, that's what I call it. There are other words people use, and I'm certain you'll hear them, but what I think you want…" She cleared her throat. "What you want to do with Jane, how you feel about her, and making that with your body, well, that would be making love, don't you think?" He looked down and appeared almost shy for a moment and laughed in agreement. Kathleen paused, again for a moment she felt like a mother to him, and wondered what things he might know instinctively, and how far she should go with her efforts. Some things, she thought, were better left to discover the old-fashioned way. Finally he looked at her. "I've never felt this way. When I was alone, there was no one else to feel with." Again the simple truth of his words hit her. She imagined for a second what it must have been like, at once beautiful and full of wonder, and yet horribly lonely. "Now that you have someone, John, you have to be careful. You don't want to hurt her I know. You don't want to hurt yourself either. There's just a lot to consider." "With Jane I would be careful. I would not make mistakes." He sat up as he said those words, with a kind of soft pride showing in his eyes. "I know you would John. She's going to be a very lucky woman if you love her half the way I think you do." With a little laugh she got up, sitting her now cold cup of tea on the pass-through to the kitchen. "And don't think so much about your mating. I'm sure it will happen and be wonderful, all on its own." She headed up the stairs while she watched him. It had been a long night for all of them, and she hoped he would stay and not venture out in search of his lady. She needed time, just as he did. She only hoped that the dark clouds that had been menacing the both of them would hold off or disappear, and allow them to find one another. As she said goodnight, he nodded slowly but was lost to his own thoughts. She went on to bed where she lay for long hours lost in her own. She heard him downstairs now and then laughing at something on the television. There were no crashing pots and pans, and no yells of surprise like the night he'd discovered the stove. The thought of how he was, vulnerable and yet in his own was so very strong, so ready to love after so long alone, was enough to make the tears come. As she lay awake in the darkness she whispered to the memory of her brother, gone so long now from this boy of his, now grown to a man. "I'm trying," She said to empty blackness of the room. "I swear to you I'll keep him safe. Whatever it takes. I'll show him how to be a good man. I know you are watching him, and I promise, I'll teach him just like you would have done." She found peace in that statement, for she meant it sincerely. She'd tried tonight to be gentle as his mother would have been, to kindly and humorously tell him a little about his curiosity toward sex, but again she figured he'd be better off letting nature take it's course. After all, he had been living the natural way for so long, how much harder could it be? In his world, he'd probably seen the animals as he put it, mate, all the time. To him it was more than natural to see sex, death and birth as part of his every day existence. For a while she lay there and then that last thought rang awkward in her mind. Sex and birth. Oh, she realized something then that she hadn't even thought of before. He knew nothing about that aspect of intimate relations! The last thing either of them needed was an accident of that magnitude, and though Jane would surely stop him and make sure of such a thing, it seemed only right that she should talk to him about it beforehand. He might find it mighty awkward in the moment to have her stop and explain about sperm and egg and all that sort of thing. Tomorrow she would have to find a way to ease into that level of discussion with him. That was the last thing she confirmed in her mind before sleep took her away. |