“Mind and Heart; Body and Soul”

by Kazroo

Part 1

"MIND"

It had been weeks since her NYPD detective boyfriend, Michael, had fallen to his death, and detective Jane Porter had been suspended from the police force for most of that time. She had to turn in her gun and badge for a couch and therapist. Mandated sessions with the department psychologist were preliminary to her disciplinary hearing. As Jane entered police headquarters, all eyes turned to watch her. She was distrusted within the police community after the lengths she went to for John Clayton. Jane noticed all the stares, but she was determined not to let them get to her. She had done the right thing protecting John, and she didn't regret it for one moment. It may have derailed her career, but she saved a good, innocent man who was the victim of circumstances beyond his control.

Jane approached a reception desk.

"Is this your first appointment," a stern looking woman asked.

"Yes."

"Fill this out - it's triplicate, please bare down."

Jane was handed a clipboard with a chain-attached pen. After a few minutes of scribbling, Jane had completed the form, and she returned it to the receptionist.

"Dr. Maloney will be with you shortly."

"Yippee. I can't wait," Jane said sarcastically, prompting a raised eyebrow from behind the desk.
Jane sat at the edge of her seat; feeling as caged as John must have felt when his uncle had him locked up.

"The doctor will see you now."

The receptionist led Jane through the door that said, "Dr. Maloney, NYPD psychologist". Jane took a seat on the overstuffed couch, and waited. Time really went slow in that room. By the time the doctor entered, Jane was tied in knots. The doctor was carrying the clipboard, and flipping through several pages. He flipped them all down, took a glance, and said, "Detective…Porter is it?"

"Yes, sir."

"No need for sir, doctor will do."

Jane nervously rocked, and looked everywhere but at the doctor.

"That usually breaks the ice."

Jane looked up and half-smiled.

"The department has sent you here to determine if some mental or emotional problem could be to blame for your recent 'inappropriate conduct', according to your file. Why you earned the trip here isn't directly my concern. I try to evaluate my patients without toeing the department line, when possible. Nothing you say here will get back to those you work with, or for. You have complete freedom to talk."

The doctor finally sat in the overstuffed chair that matched the couch.

"Now, where would you like to start?"

Back outside Dr. Maloney's office, Sam checked his watch and poked his head around the corner. He was trying to casually be in the hall when Jane's session ended. He was early, so he doubled back to the water fountain. He heard a door open and a voice say, "So, I'll see you day after tomorrow." Jane answered, "OK," and began down the hall. Sam quickly made his way to the hall intersection, and as Jane made the corner, he turned and fell in step with her.

"Sam."

"Jane."

"Have they got you on the couch yet?"

"Yeah."

"Somehow, I think he's going to have a field-day with my life."

"Hey, speaking of, how's your jungle boy, John?" Sam asked.

"He's not my jungle boy."

"Well, whatever you call him."

"I call him John."

"So how's he doin'?"

"He's doin' fine."

"So there's no news you'd like to share?"

"What are you getting at, Sam?"

"I have a 'friend' at the public library. She says you're in the children's section every other day."

Jane laterally glanced at Sam while they continued down the hall.

"I'm teaching John to read." Jane stated calmly.

"Oh, oh that's good, that's good."

Jane walked into Sam's side, giving him a nudge. He sidestepped back at her, but she avoided the return nudge. Sam smiled with one side of his mouth.

"It was good to see you, Sam."

"Hey, partner, don't worry. You did the right thing."

Jane rang the bell at Kathleen Clayton's house. As Jane walked into the livingroom, Kathleen swooped down the stairs.

"How may I help you this time?"

"Well, I've been trying to teach John to read…"

"Has it worked?"

"Some. I was wondering, were there any books he really liked when he was little? Maybe something his mom or dad read to him a lot?"

"My brother kept his part of the house full of books. And as I recall, John was already reading on his own by the time he was four. We could check his room."

The two women made their way into the other wing of the house. Kathleen was drawn to a bookcase, triggering a flashback. A young Kathleen, and four-year-old John stood in front of this bookcase. Young John pointed a shelf above his reach. "That one." He said to Kathleen, who handed him the book.

"Are you OK?" Jane asked, snapping Kathleen back to reality.

"That one." Kathleen reached out, and pulled a book from the shelf.

"It was one of my brother's favorites, and John too."

From his jungle room paradise, John had heard the activity in that wing of the house, and once he detected Jane's scent, he moved in.

"Jane?" John asked.

"Hi, John. Your aunt said you used to like this book. Does it look familiar?"

She showed him the book. He shook his head no.

"You used to read it to me," Kathleen added. "I remember you used to annoy me by reading it out loud when I was trying to read something else."

"Why would I do that?"

"You were four years old. You just wanted my attention." Kathleen smiled warmly at John as the memory fleshed out in her mind.

"Thank you," Jane said, "I'll get this back to you."

John puppy-dogged after Jane.

"We read tonight?"

"If you want to."

John smiled and nodded.

"Would you like to come with me now? We could…"

"Yes," John interrupted, stepping even closer to Jane.

"OK."

Jane put her hand out, and John clasped it. She looked back warmly at John, acknowledged Kathleen, and they left.

In the car, John asked, "When will you teach me to drive?"

"After you learn to read."

"Why?"

"Because you need to read to drive."

"Why?"

"Well, there are street signs, other road signs, lot's of driving has to do with words."

"Oh."

"We're here," Jane smiled, putting the car in park.

Jane took the book, and several bags of take-out from the car. John scampered ahead.

"John, where are you going?"

"Your apartment."

John disappeared up the side of the building, and Jane proceeded in the door and upstairs as quickly as she could. Jane ran up the stairway. Just as she reached for the knob, the door opened.

"I knew you'd be close when John galloped out of your room," Nicki commented.

She took one of the bags of take-out from Jane, and headed in.

"You're not going to try table manners tonight, are you?"

"No, I thought Japanese style might work better. It's hard to get sitting on the floor wrong. Hey John."

Since Jane had chosen an assortment of finger friendly foods, the meal went rather smoothly. John sat as Nicki and Jane threw out the containers. Nicki grabbed her backpack.

"You goin' somewhere?" Jane inquired.

"Yeah, library."

"Alone?"

"I'm meeting half the class there - those of us who are depending on the final exam grade. Trust me, I won't be alone."

Jane felt a little nervous. She and John hadn't been completely alone much recently. John's increasing desire to be close was getting intense, and Jane was having difficulty finding ways to convince herself she didn't want what John wanted.