"Home and Habitats"

by BeElleGee

Rated PG-13

Disclaimer: Characters and situations property of the WB, producers, creators of "Tarzan", etc. No profit will be made off this fiction and never will.

Summary: Things haven't changed much since the hearing: Jane is still apprehensive; John is still something of a social pariah. But all that is about to change after they make a conscious effort to learn more about each other and Jane moves John in with her for a few days to keep him out of trouble while Kathleen is away.

***

PART ONE ~ Priorities - II

Holding up her badge, Jane pushed her way through the milling uniformed officers and over to Sam. At first she didn't see John, then she noticed Sam was standing by his car and one of the back doors was open. John was sitting half-way inside, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, his head resting in both hands. A conspicuous white gauze bandage was taped just below his hairline, above his left temple. He sat up when he saw Jane.

Jane went straight to John, sparing a grateful glance at Sam on the way. John rose to his feet and smiled crookedly at her. Along with the bandaged gunshot wound, Jane noticed the left corner of John's mouth was cut, his knuckles were split, and he had the beginnings of a nasty bruise under his right eye.

"Are you all right?" she asked him, looking him up and down.

John nodded, but then winced and grasped his head in pain. "Yes," he whispered, looking a little embarrassed.

Jane pried her eyes off of John to look expectantly at her partner.

"They found the gun AND the woman," Detective Malone began, sipping steaming coffee from a Styrofoam cup and watching Jane fuss over John Clayton with an amused expression on his face. "She confirmed John's story of the assault. Then they ran a check on the other guy, and seems he had a rap sheet as long as your arm."

"Is John free to go then?" Jane looked back at the few remaining officers on the scene. None of them were paying any attention to them. The ambulance had since gone, and only two marked units were left. One contained a very battered and unhappy-looking perpetrator.

Sam nodded and handed her a ticket and glanced over at John. "They dropped the other charges, but they wrote him a citation for disturbing the peace."

Jane took the neatly folded paper Sam was giving her and quickly skimmed the contents.

"Maybe I can talk to the District Attorney," she mumbled. She knew Richard Clayton was always able to get John's various misdemeanors dismissed through him. Maybe it would work for her if she explained the situation to him. She gave John an admonishing look, but he grinned back at her and reached up to stroke her hair.

Now that her fear for John's well-being was subsiding, anger was moving in. Jane closed her eyes and took a deep breath, then turned towards John, jerking away from his caressing touch.

"When are you going to realize things are never as cut and dry as they seem?" she started, placing her hands on her hips. "One of these days, you're going to learn that there are rules, and laws, and technicalities....You can't just do as you please, even if you feel it's what's right."

John seemed taken aback by Jane's sudden anger. He looked over at Sam questioningly, but Sam held up his hands and shook his head.

"Sorry," he told John. "I can't help you out of this one. I stood up for you against New York's finest, but when it comes to Jane Porter, you're on your own, pal."

Jane backed away from John momentarily and focused on her retreating partner.

"I owe you one, Sam," she mumbled. "Things could have gone really wrong tonight."

"But they didn't," Sam replied and lowered his voice. He gestured at John. "I can't believe I'm actually gonna say this, but go easy on the guy. I can see where he's coming from, and given the same circumstances, who's to say I wouldn't have done the same thing." He finished his coffee and chucked the dregs into the street before crushing the cup in his hand and tossing it into his car. "Hey, I'm out of here. Have a good night, Detective Porter. What's left of it anyway."

Jane nodded, her throat too tight with emotion to reply. She watched Sam climb into his car and ease it away from the curb. Then she turned to John, who was standing next to her, his hands held rigidly at his sides. His head was bowed so low, his long hair had spilled forward and covered half his face.

Jane motioned for him to follow her, and started off towards her own vehicle, which was parked a little ways down the block.

"You did this on purpose, didn't you?" she grumbled, glancing over at him. She wondered fleetingly if he had done this for attention the way a young child acts up for his parent's eye.

However, John stared back at her with a confused expression, making Jane realize how preposterous an accusation that was. She frowned and sighed heavily.

"All right, I know you didn't get into trouble on purpose--you never do," she clarified. "But you do get into trouble, and I'm just telling you, maybe the next time, Sam won't be driving by, and I won't be able to talk to the D.A. on your behalf." She increased her pace, trying to walk off her residual anger. "All I'm saying, is you're an adult now. And you're going to have to start taking responsibility for your own actions. You're going to have to think of the consequences of what you do."

"Jane."

"You could have been killed tonight, John," Jane continued, too keyed up to notice John was no longer walking with her. Her mind was too busy imagining the worse. "You just don't know when to stop, do you? You don't even think about things like getting your head blown off do you?" Finally Jane realized she was more or less talking to herself. She half-skidded to a halt and turned around to face John.

"I want to go now," he stated simply.

Jane furrowed her brow. "Go?"

John nodded curtly, then turned and walked briskly away. Jane skipped after him, grabbing his arm and hauling him around to face her again.

"Oh no you don't!" Jane snapped. "I don't want you roaming the streets anymore tonight. What's to say, not two minutes later, you'll get yourself in even deeper trouble? I need some reprieve, John, so I'm driving you straight to your aunt's house and I want you to stay there. I feel like...I can't trust you anymore, and it's getting to the point, I don't want to let you out of my sight!"

"Stop treating me like a child, Jane!" John snarled back at her. "I didn't do anything wrong!" He dragged his hands roughly through his hair, glowering down at Jane angrily. "I stopped him from hurting her. And I don't care what your laws say. It was the right thing to do."

With that, John stormed off. He pulled himself up on the first fire escape he came across, and deftly climbed to the top of the building, then disappeared over the roof without a backward glance.

Jane could only stare blankly after him, shaken by his anger, and drained by the conflicting emotions churning inside her. Finally, she turned and stalked slowly away, her thoughts too tangled to try to reason out at the moment. As she slid into her car, it hit her how tired she was, and when she turned on the ignition, she started to cry.

***

Sunlight was blazing through Jane's bedroom window. It had to be past ten, she figured, and tossed off her blankets in frustration. She managed an hour or two of sleep, but that was all and now it was time for her to get up. She was past due at the station. To confirm what time it was, Jane leaned forward and squinted at her bedside clock.

"It's time for a vacation, that's what time it is," Jane mumbled to herself as she stumbled into the bathroom, pulled off her nightshirt, and stepped into the shower.

She had vacation time coming. Maybe she couldn't go to Hawaii now, but she could still indulge in a little 'R & R'. She could get some of those old household projects done, catch up on her reading, and answer her mail. She could spend more time with Nikki. They could go out to the movies or even catch a Broadway show. There was lots of things she could do around here. And she could also spend more time with John.

Maybe John wouldn't be off chasing criminals and getting shot at if Jane could keep him better occupied with more mundane things like watching sunsets with her and climbing trees in the park. Jane knew she needed to spend more time with John, not only to keep him out of trouble, but to let him know he really did matter to her, despite the fact she had been treating him more like an inconvenience than anything lately. If she was going to have a bonafide relationship with this man, she needed to start looking at it in that way. It would never develop at the rate they were going now. In fact, things were clearly showing signs of strain.

But Jane was only sure of one thing, and that was her uncertainty. She couldn't imagine not having John in her life now. The thought of losing him was unbearable, though the idea of living with him was almost as daunting.

Nothing had really changed between them since the hearing. Jane had believed things would be different since they didn't have to hide anymore--since SHE didn't have to hide anymore, but she still harbored a sense of inhibition which kept her from pursuing that real relationship and even though John had been cleared of all charges, he was still something of a pariah.

Jane's inhibition stemmed from the unknown, and John Clayton Jr. personified the unknown. He was unlike anyone she had ever known before, and his underlying complexity both thrilled and frightened her. She knew she had feelings for him which ran deep, but she wasn't about to let her feelings blind her to the harsh realities of their very different lives either. There was an undeniable chemistry between them, and John had definitely struck a chord in Jane, but as for truly being in love with him, Jane simply could not say.

When you loved someone, you wanted to spend every waking moment--and then some, with that person. You didn't keep them at arms length all the time, and go out of your way to avoid them. You weren't afraid of losing control around them--you wanted to lose control. Love made you happy. Love wasn't bad.

Closing her eyes and letting the hot water beat against her face, Jane soaped up her hair and rinsed it, moaning audibly over the sorry state of her affairs as she worked in the conditioner she always followed the shampoo with.

But this can't be love, she mused. It wasn't even lust. Lust would have been easier. It would have just been physical with no depth beyond passion. This was 'feelings'. These feelings were the reason she longed to be with him whenever they were apart. They still made her catch her breath each time she looked into his eyes. They made her heart pound whenever he touched her. They made her want to know him completely on the deepest emotional level--to learn everything she could about his incredible life. There was still so much to do, so much to say--to experience and share.

Hadn't she contemplated all this before?

Jane's mind flashed back to the horrific sight of the flat-lining ECG tape in the ambulance that very cold, confusing afternoon in November. She'd thought she had lost John then, and she had lamented all the could have's and should have's left unsettled between them. So what was she waiting for?

Her mind made up, Jane rinsed off the last of the soap and turned off the shower faucets. She pushed aside the sliding glass door, simultaneously wiping water from her eyes.

"Jane."

At first, Jane thought her senses were deceiving her. There was simply no way John Clayton was standing in her bathroom. Two seconds later, her mind kicked into gear and Jane shrieked at the top of her lungs, ducking back behind the shower door, and grabbing blindly for a towel. She knew her face was probably flaming red, but forced herself to step out of the shower to confront him.

"John! What are you doing here?" she yelled, knotting the towel tightly around her body.

For his part, John seemed surprisingly undeterred by Jane's hysterics, and made no move to leave. Which made Jane wonder if he had even caught a glimpse of anything. However, his eyes trailed appreciatively down the length of her body, then shot back up to her face. He swallowed hard and cleared his throat a couple of times before speaking.

"I...um...I came to see you," he stated quietly as if struggling to find his voice, and shifting his position against the bathroom's door frame slightly.

Jane pulled her robe on over her towel and belted it. "Well you got to see me all right!" she shot back.

He peered back at her and made an appropriately remorseful face.

"...Sorry," he whispered, lowering his eyes to the floor. "I wanted to talk to you."

Jane closed her eyes tightly and tried to shake off her embarrassment. "It's...all right. I suppose we're even now." She opened her eyes and summoned a reassuring smile.

John hesitantly smiled back. "Are you still mad at me?"

Reaching for another towel to dry her hair with, Jane furrowed her brow and shook her head.

"I'm not mad, really. I just...wish you would have waited in the bedroom for me."

"I mean about last night," John explained.

Jane leaned against the edge of the sink. "Well, I got scared. I lashed out. I admit it."

"You were supposed to be on my side. You weren't. You made me feel bad for doing something good." He paused and ran his hand through his hair, pushing it behind his ears, exposing the gunshot wound above his temple. "I couldn't sleep. I kept thinking about what you said, but I still don't understand. I don't know what I did wrong."

Jane took John's hand and led him out of the bathroom and into the living room. She sat him on the sofa and sat across from him on one of the straight-backed chairs. Leaning forward, Jane clasped her hands together and took a deep breath.

"Saving that woman was right," she began. "But taking your anger out on the man who attacked her was wrong...and dangerous. You could have been killed, John. Or at the very least, taken into custody. The police could have put you in jail. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

John nodded slowly, his eyes locked on Jane's. "I only did what I needed to. Why does that make you angry?"

Jane frowned. "Because. You're not a cop. And the risks you take sometimes, are unacceptable to me."

"You take risks too."

Sighing in frustration, Jane quickly decided this conversation was best left for another time. Shifting gears, she forced a smile and reached out to touch John's knee.

"You know, I've been doing a lot of thinking myself. I couldn't sleep last night either. And I've changed my mind about having you stay with me while your aunt is gone. I think it's a good idea now. I'm even going to put in for some time off work so we can spend the days together. How's that sound?"

Surprisingly, John's expression tightened and his eyes narrowed. "You don't trust me now," he stated warily, leaning away from her. "You want me here so you can watch me."

"...Partly," Jane admitted. "What happened last night got me to reconsider the idea, but that wasn't what changed my mind."

John looked away from her and stood up. He paced a tight circle in front of the sofa, gnawing brutally on his lower lip.

"You didn't want me here before. Now you do."

"John, I'm not going to be keeping you prisoner here," Jane told him soothingly, half-expecting him to bolt out of the room any minute. He was that tense now. "Would you just sit down for a minute and relax. Please."

John stopped pacing and looked over at her. Jane knew if there was one thing John abjectly rebelled against, it was confinement. It didn't matter who or what confined him, he simply would not tolerate it in any form. John slowly sank back down to the sofa, perching on the edge of the cushions.

"Okay. Look. I realized that, if you come stay with me, we'll have the opportunity to learn a little more about each other. We need to do this if we are ever going to find out whether our relationship is going to work or not. We hardly see each other anymore, John. And lately, when we do, we argue. It's as if we are always struggling to understand each other. Do you remember what I said that night in Sam's cabin? I need to know you, before I can make any decisions. This will help. This could bring us closer."

"Closer?" John asked hopefully, his tension fading somewhat.

Nodding, Jane seized the opportunity given to press forward. "I thought you wanted to stay with me."

"I do."

"Then, what's the problem?"

John's voice softened. He looked back at Jane somewhat timidly.

"Do you have to learn everything about me before we can be closer?"

Jane knew what he meant. Maybe he believed, in his case, ignorance was bliss. There were probably things in his past which he didn't want her to know. Things he had been forced to do in order to survive which she might find savage or vile.

Jane looked John squarely in the eye. "Not everything, but more. I know enough about you already to invite you into my home, but there's still a lot I want to learn."

John blinked back at her. "And this is why you want me to stay?"

Now he needed to know he was truly welcomed by her--that this wasn't just a ploy to better supervise him or restrict him.

She cleared her throat. "Yes, John. It is."

Just how much she wanted him to stay now, surprised her. If he said no to her, Jane knew it would change things between them. They would lose something that might take a long time to recover. He had trusted her before. He couldn't possibly believe she'd betray him now.

"Yes," John said finally. "I will stay with you."

Jane couldn't help but smile ear to ear. She got to her feet and went to him. He stood up to meet her and she hugged him tightly, letting him wrap his arms around her and hold her for a moment before pulling away.

"Okay, now that we have that settled," Jane said, her voice somewhat hoarse with emotion. "You have to leave, because I have to get to work. I'm already late. But I'm going to put in for my time off and I'll meet you back at Kathleen's tonight. We'll pick up some things to help you get settled in. You can sleep in Nikki's room while she's gone, all right?"

In reply, John reached up and traced the open neckline of Jane's robe with his fingers, his gaze sliding down her throat to her exposed cleavage.

"I want to sleep with you."

Suddenly very self-conscious, Jane lifted John's hand from her collar and fought hard not to smile at his inadvertent double entendre. At least, she hoped it was inadvertent, but his eyes had taken on such a smoky, seductive cast, it made her wonder.

"Ah...no." She leaned away from him as he bent forward to nuzzle her hair. "You know, now might be a good time to lay down some basic rules of conduct for you to follow while you're here."

"Rules?" John fairly growled, straightening. "What kind of rules?"

"Well, first of all, no more domestic chores without supervision."

John considered this, then nodded. He apparently agreed with that one.

Jane steeled herself. If she was going to do this, she might as well do it right.

"Secondly, I'd appreciate it if you would show respect for my personal things. I know you're going to be tempted, but don't fidget with anything you don't understand. Don't try to figure out the microwave or the coffee maker. Try hard not to break anything."

John immediately opened his mouth to protest, but Jane held up her hands to quiet him.

"I know what happened with the dishes was an accident, but you've got to realize, John, I'm not your aunt, or your uncle for that matter, and if you blow up my microwave or shatter my windows, I'm going to have to take money out of my bank account to get them fixed."

"I understand," John replied, looking miserable and embarrassed now.

Jane sighed, but pushed onward. "You can help yourself to anything in the refrigerator or cupboards, but don't try to cook anything. I'd rather you just stay away from the stove. Clean up after yourself in the bathroom and hang up your towels." Jane paused for a breath, then continued. "Like I said, you can come and go as you please, but if you're going to go out, remember to close everything behind you so the heat doesn't get out, and lock the apartment up if I'm not here for some reason. Also, if you go out at night, I'd like to know where it is you're going."

"Jane, these are a lot of rules," John noted, furrowing his brow in agitation.

Jane put her hands on her hips. "I know this is a lot to remember, but it's really important that you do, John. This is going to be an adjustment for both of us. Guidelines will help cut back on the guessing." Jane waited for more protests, but John did not reply. He simply stared past her out the window as if envisioning a way to escape her oppression. Determinedly, Jane pressed on. "I have to insist you respect my need for privacy. I don't want you invading my personal spaces. My bedroom is off-limits at all times, understand? I don't want you coming into rooms when the doors are closed, without getting permission first."

John glanced back at the bathroom. "The door was open," he pointed out.

Jane sighed. "This is for future reference, okay? I don't want you walking in on me like that anymore. And I know you feel...comfortable with your body...but I don't want you getting undressed in front of me. In fact, I need you to remain fully clothed when I'm around."

Jane felt her cheeks blushing at this request. She knew the sight of John lounging around her apartment half-naked would pose too formidable a temptation for her. She was a mature, healthy, heterosexual female after all, and well-aware of the ever-weakening boundaries of her resolve.

"Except of course when you're taking a shower," Jane quickly added, just in case he took her words literally.

John shouldered his way past Jane into the hall. "Are these real rules?" he questioned, raising his brow in a dubious expression.

His doubt made Jane's hackles rise, but then she had given him reason to doubt the rules she made, but she didn't like being called on it.

"John, you know, if you ever think I'm being unfair, you can always go back to your aunt's house," she responded, skipping after him. "You'd be completely on your own again. No rules. You can just do whatever you want."

John turned around to face Jane, his expression shifting slightly, his body tensing.

Jane crossed her arms over her chest, striking an unyielding pose.

"I know having to follow rules is an adjustment for you," she went on. "You grew up in a jungle without any supervision. No parents, no teachers, no clergy, or bosses. You were just free to do whatever you pleased. But if you want to be with other people, John, you're going to have to learn the rules and follow them. As a courtesy."

Drawing himself up to his full height, John stared piercingly back at Jane, his jaw working through his building tension. Finally he shook his head, and grimaced at her.

"You're wrong," he countered, unexpectedly. "The jungle had rules. If you didn't learn them, you died. I can follow rules. Your rules. I want to stay with you."

Hearing him put it that way made Jane's heart skip a beat. Strangely, she actually felt relieved. Nodding, she uncrossed her arms and sighed.

"All right then," she said quietly. "I just don't want you to make any mistakes while you're here."

John bowed his head. "Everyone makes mistakes, Jane," he whispered, then turned away from her again, heading towards her bedroom window. He paused just before opening it and faced Jane again, his eyes dimming with a hint of sadness. "But that's how they learn."

Staring up at him, Jane's expression softened with remorse. She hadn't meant to hurt him, but clearly she had. Maybe she had insulted him by stating the obvious. She knew John had manners for what really mattered. He wasn't as uncouth as she had insinuated by spelling out her rules to him the way she had.

In a token gesture, Jane reached out and tucked a stray lock of hair behind John's ear, then brushed her knuckles against his warm cheek and down his bristly jawline. Her caress seemed to have an immediate soothing affect on him. He closed his eyes momentarily, the tension in his brow easing, and his handsome face smoothing beneath her hand.

"Go on. I'll see you tonight," she told him.

John opened the window and pulled himself up on the sill. Just before Jane drew her hand away, he caught it, brushing her fingertips with his soft, full lips. Then he turned quickly and slid over the side out of sight.

***

Work was unbearable. Jane found herself teetering on the edge of full-blown panic more than once throughout the course of the day. She'd have to stop what she was doing and take slow, deep breaths. Repeatedly, she'd reassure herself everything would work out all right, and that she had everything under control, and then she would become practically giddy with excitement.

Back and forth, from one polar opposite to the other, Jane skidded. Finally, she just gave up. She tidied up her paperwork, said her good-byes, and called it a day by mid-afternoon.

Jane toyed with the idea of collecting John early, but decided to use her last remaining hours of solitude to clean the apartment top to bottom, and go to the grocery store for some 'Tarzan-friendly' food. She just couldn't picture John eating quiche or tuna casseroles.

Once satisfied with the state of her apartment and the contents of her refrigerator, Jane pulled on her coat, and grabbed her car keys.

***

Jane was surprised to see John on the other side of the door instead of Kathleen Clayton's maid. He grinned back at her like the Cheshire Cat, and motioned her inside.

"Come in."

Jane quickly swept inside the foyer, shaking off the snow on the doormat as she did. John turned and half-jogged, half-jumped up the numerous stairs leading to the upper floor of the spacious mansion. Jane more sedately trudged up after him, marveling at his seemingly limitless energy.

By the time she had made it up the stairs, John had all but disappeared. Jane ambled into the garden through the open double-doors and looked around.

"John, where'd you go?" she called, turning around a few times and looking upwards into the overgrown trees. It made her immediately dizzy, but it was fun too. Impulsively, Jane spun around a few more times, smiling as the greenery around her kept whirling by long after she had stopped spinning. She tottered drunkenly towards a mossy path, closing her eyes to quell her vertigo, and promptly crashed into a bush.

Two strong hands suddenly seized hold of her arms, steadying her. Jane practically collapsed against John, feeling light-headed and giddy. Laughing, she opened her eyes and shook her head.

"I'm all right," she told him. "Whew! I haven't done that since I was a kid."

"You'll fall down," John warned, but grinned at her antics.

Jane squinted up at him. "Don't tell me you've never done that."

John smiled wider. "I do it," he confessed. "But I fall down when I do." His hands shifted, gathering her closer. "Come with me. I want to show you something."

John guided her through a denser part of the atrium and down a little stone path which lead to another glass door. Beyond that was a large balcony overlooking the city below. John leaned Jane up against the stone railing and hopped up. He held out his hand towards Jane, but she shied away from it.

"No thanks," she told him, edging away from him. "I like it right where I am."

John crouched down and extended his hand to her again. "It will be all right. Trust me."

Every bone in Jane's body locked with fear, but his words gave her pause. Hadn't she asked the very same thing of him when every instinct he had told him to turn away from her and run instead? If she didn't respond in kind, Jane had a feeling John would probably never surrender himself over to her like that again.

Trying not to visibly shake with terror, Jane approached John and grasped his hand tightly. He pulled her up beside him effortlessly and wrapped his arm around her back, pressing her body firmly against his.

At the moment, that was fine with Jane. She couldn't seem to pry her face off his shoulder long enough to look where he was pointing, and clung to him as if he was the only solid thing left in the universe keeping her from certain death--which at the moment happened to be more truthful than Jane like to consider.

His voice was soft and soothing as he comforted her however, and Jane felt his warm lips brush across her flushed temple. His long hair fell across her cheek like strands of golden silk as he moved his head, and she fought with her fear long enough to satisfy the sudden urge she had to peer up at him.

When Jane looked up, John smiled down at her, his mesmerizing eyes glittering with an evident adoration. In that moment, Jane forgot her fear, and everything else, as she stared back at him, feeling only the pull of his gaze. Almost unconsciously, her hand trailed up his throat, to the side of his face, drawing him closer.

John blinked back at her, tentatively covering her hand with his and turning his head, lowering his supple mouth to meet hers.

A siren suddenly whooped on the street below them, stealing their attention away from each other for only a second, but long enough to let the intimacy of the moment before pass. Jane turned her face away, letting her hand fall to John's shoulder, and self-consciously cleared her throat.

"Um...what was it you wanted to show me?"

John tightened his grip on her, angling his body slightly, and faced the sparkling city beyond them.

"Look out through there," John urged. "That's your building."

Jane turned her gaze in the direction John was indicating and settled back against his chest. "You can see it from here?" she asked, amazed.

John nodded.

Jane couldn't really see anything except shapes and lights, but she didn't doubt John's ability, however. His senses were exceptional.

The city tonight was beautiful. This high up, the lightly falling snow was still clean and fresh, and the snowflakes' patterns landed intact on Jane's dark jacket, dotting it with tiny intricately-shaped crystals. Window lights now competed with the city's usual neons and street-lamps and the spectrum of colors they cast were reflected in the wetness of the snow. It gave everything below a hazy dream-like facade, making Jane sigh in spite of herself.

John shivered slightly, and wrapped his arms more securely around her as if trying to keep warm. Jane suddenly realized John wasn't wearing a coat, only a tee-shirt and a pair of light cotton pants.

Knowing he'd freeze solid before taking the initiative to release her and go inside, Jane took pity on him and pretended she was cold too.

"John, this is nice, but I'm freezing. I'm ready to get down now."

Peering at her, John nodded, and eased her off the railing onto the balcony floor. He turned, and gave the city one more passing glance before hopping down beside her.

"I'm ready too," he stated and rubbed his bare arms briskly. "It is cold out here."

"Come on," Jane said, clearing her throat. "I'll help you get packed."

She led the way through the apartments and into the hall, then belatedly realized she didn't know her way around the mansion well enough to be leading the way. John came up behind her and gestured left down the hall.

"This way," he informed Jane and slipped past her to show her the way.

Jane eagerly followed him. She wasn't even aware John had actual rooms here. She had never been in this part of the mansion before, and the fact she was going to get to see John's rooms made the prospect even more intriguing.

French doors opened to reveal a spacious and luxuriously furnished suite. There was at least five separate rooms set from this main room that Jane could see. Everything inside them was pristinely clean and at first appeared unused, but on closer inspection, the style of the furnishings was actually old-fashioned and showing signs of age, if not use. It occurred to Jane, this suite was John's when he was a boy. This was where he lived with his family before they were killed in the plane crash which had left him stranded in the jungle for eighteen years.

Jane found it somewhat sad that John no longer felt entirely at home here anymore and didn't really use it. Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of his voice which seemed to echo throughout the lifeless rooms.

"Jane. Over here."

Jane turned and followed John's summons into one of the bedrooms. Looking around, she could tell, unlike the other rooms in the apartment, he occasionally made use of this one. It was clean and tidy--probably thanks to Mary, but it still spoke of John's presence. His mother's locket hung from a faded framed portrait of John's parents on the dresser. A torn and familiar pair of pants were draped over the back of a rocking chair. A small stuffed bear was propped up on the pillows with the name "John" stitched into its tiny bed and an old hat capped one of the bedposts. There was a small bookcase filled with children's books that had cracked and fraying spines. Next to that, on the night stand was a small music box that played a tune from the musical, "Cats" guarded by a yellow plastic lion.

Jane found herself mesmerized by each item in the room. Drifting from one side of the room to the other, she was aware of John's eyes on her the entire time she spent inspecting everything, but that didn't deter her. Each item was like a treasure chest of insight into John's past life. And the way it all had been so lovingly preserved over the years, bolstered her fondness for Kathleen Clayton by considerable degrees.

Staring into the family portrait which sat on the dresser beneath a yellowed doily, Jane wondered how much John remembered of his parents. As if conjured by her thoughts, John drew up behind her. He lifted the locket from the frame and slipped it over his head.

Abruptly becoming aware of just what she had been doing, Jane frowned deeply and turned around to face John.

"I'm sorry," she apologized, feeling suddenly ashamed. "It must seem to you like I'm intruding."

John quickly shook his head. "I invited you here."

Jane lowered her eyes. "I know, but, I don't have any right going through your personal things."

Reaching out to grasp her arms, John turned Jane around to face him. "You like them?" He indicated the contents of the room with his eyes, dispassionately.

Hesitantly, Jane looked up. "Yeah. I do. It shows me a different side of you. A side of you I really haven't seen before." She paused and took a deep, steadying breath. "It's a way for me to learn about you, John."

"I want to learn about you too," John whispered. "Will you show me things you have?"

Moved by his sincerity, Jane regretted her earlier decree forbidding him to touch anything of hers. He had been so willing to share what meager possessions he had with her, but she had steadfastly refused to share her possessions with him.

"I...don't have many things left from my childhood, but I can think of a few items I could show you that you might be interested in."

John's expression brightened considerably. "Like what?"

Jane smiled easily. "Well, I won an award once for selling the most girl scout cookies in my troupe."

John grinned, his eyes twinkling with undisclosed affection. "You'll show me? You promise?"

Nodding, Jane passed her hands over John's arms and squeezed them before turning to face a rather imposing-looking closet. "I promise. But first, we have to get down to business."

John agreed and stalked towards the closet. Unceremoniously, he grabbed a couple pairs of pants and tossed them on the bed, then grabbed a few sweaters and shirts. Pulling a small soft-sided duffel bag out from the depths of the closet shelves, he then started stuffing the clothes he'd chosen into the bag.

"Here, let me do that," Jane interrupted him, pulling the wadded clothes back out of the bag to refold them. "You should change into something warmer before we go out. Here." She shoved a pair of thicker pants and one of the sweaters at him.

Nonchalantly, John pulled off the shirt he had been wearing. He tossed it on the bed and went to put on the sweater when he noticed Jane's expression.

"What's wrong?"

The sight of him had stopped Jane in her tracks. It wasn't as if she had never seen him without a shirt before, but watching him take off his clothes in the rather intimate surroundings of his own bedroom affected her in an entirely new way. Not to mention the fact he looked astonishing, sculpted in the soft light and heavy shadows of the lamp he was standing beside.

Jane stood frozen for the longest time, unable and unwilling to move as if the striking man before her were just an illusion so fragile even the slightest intake of breath would make him fade away.

"Jane?" John said, his voice tinged with concern.

Jane immediately lowered her eyes and licked her lips anxiously. It was becoming harder and harder for her to ignore the way her body reacted to him. Her only hope was to acquire John's cooperation in this matter.

"Uh, John...I thought I asked you not to get undressed in front of me."

Raising his brow in inquiry, John stepped closer to Jane, making her take a step back. "Here too?"

Jane nodded, at first trying to avoid looking at him, but then decided it only made her appear coy. She fixed her eyes on his, stealing a quick glance at his well-shaped torso en route.

Clearly baffled, John frowned, gathering up his clothes, and trudged off into one of the adjacent rooms.

Busying herself with packing, Jane crisply folded each article of clothing and placed them carefully inside the duffel bag. She turned around to close the closet doors, and almost collided with John, standing just behind her.

John looked down at her, wearing the same expression he'd departed with, as well as the fresh clothes she'd given him.

Jane gnawed her lower lip briefly before talking to him.

"I've confused you, haven't I?"

John nodded slowly. "Your words say one thing. Your face says something else."

Reaching up, Jane brushed some imaginary lint from John's shoulder. She couldn't help but notice the light blue color of the soft cotton sweater he was wearing, matched his eyes. His long hair was attractively tousled now, a few strands falling rakishly over his face, making Jane's fingers itch to tuck them back in place. Her eyes drifted to his mouth. She noticed his lips were wet, as if he'd just licked them, and pursed slightly in obvious contemplation and practically begging to be kissed. Jane could almost feel the warm weight of his mouth and the fullness of his lips sliding languidly over hers as his heated breath filled her body with new awakening desires.

Determinedly, Jane shook the image from her head and cleared her throat.

"What I want, as opposed to what I know is right, doesn't always agree with each other," she confessed. "I'm trying to keep things between us heading down a certain path, at a certain pace, because it's the right thing for us to do. I know you don't mean to, but sometimes you do things that make me want to...stray from that path."

Her resolve bolstered by her words, Jane placed her hands on John's chest and leaned against him, letting him put his arms around her shoulders. She gazed deeply into his beautiful eyes and sighed wistfully.

"I don't want to rush into anything that may jeopardize what we have right now. Before we move onto the next step, I want to make sure our foundations are solid. It's the only way I'll know this is more than an infatuation between us. It's the only way I'll feel secure. So, for now, let's just take it slow. I'm hoping, in the end, all this waiting will be worth it. Can you understand that?"

John blinked back at her, apparently struggling to reason through what she had just said. After awhile, he nervously passed his hands up and down her back a few times, and drew her closer, burying his face in her hair.

"I'll wait for you," he whispered in her ear and hugged her.

Jane hugged him back. He hadn't understood, but he was still willing to be patient. At least that was a start.