Rules of Engagement - Recaplet
By Pamie (Television without pity)

Hi, I'm Tarzan. How about I just unbutton a sleeveless shirt? Can we call that a compromise? I'm a civilized man, now. I can't run around flashing nips all day. I mean, I'm working really hard here to get with Jane, but now she's got all of these rules. Good thing I came up with a great line. Check out this piece of stellar writing: "Your rules are lies." So good we must say it thrice. Yeah, this episode was full of some real choice lines, wasn't it (e.g. "A human person?")? It's because this week we tried to test a certain theory I had heard. I got all of my monkey friends and put them in a room with a whole bunch of typewriters. And then they made this script! Isn't it awesome? And we've created a new segment for this show. It's called A Minute with Mitch Pileggi. We tried it out in this episode. Didn't you just love it? Hey, isn't it crazy that I've been living with Aunt Xena for about three weeks now, but she's only just remembered that she has a jungle in her mansion for me to play in? Crazy Aunt Xena. I hope she gets a reason for being in this show soon. Anyway, I guess I should mention what happened in this episode, right? Because Cheetah knows we aren't going to remember it by the title. Let's see. I'm still getting blamed for Michael's death, even though there's an agoraphobic who totally cleared my name. But since he doesn't want to leave the house (even though he does without a single palpitation), for some reason that's enough to have Jane and Sam drop the lead. Thank goodness we created the A Minute with Mitch Pileggi to keep that storyline going. And…um…so there's a sniper, but y'all know that snipers are actually kids now, right? So that's cleared up pretty much immediately. And -- oh! I have another superpower: I can jump through time and space, and travel faster than a police car! It's true. I can show up wherever I want and I totally get to be a policeman! It's so cool. I guess now that I'm wearing clothes, they're finally giving me the respect I deserve. And it's great -- I can do whatever I want in public, but nobody gives an eyewitness account! So I'm sort of still hiding, even though absolutely everybody knows that I'm alive and well. Isn't it crazy? Humans are so funny. Man. I'm gonna miss you guys when we're cancelled next week.